Thursday, September 10, 2015

REDO
Summary:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, main idea
    • Bully, by Lee Hirsch, demonstrates the harsh reality of what occurs in a bullied child’s life, like the constant and endless harassment, a loss of feelings, and even a choice to take one's life because several victims of bullying were followed and the difficulties and abuse they went through every day was displayed.


Supporting ideas and explanations to prove main ideas
    • Bullying can be change lives for the worse, or end them.
      • In the Documentary, 7 different victims of bullying, 2 of them had taken their own lives and several others had tried and failed at taking theirs
    • Bullies constantly physically, mentally and emotionally abuse their victims for any reason they choose.
    • Some people are bullied so much that they assume that they never have been bullied and accepted it as their life
Conclusion:
  • Bully, by Lee Hirsch, showed the hardships that victims of bullying have to deal with on a daily basis by showing 7 different victims and what they have to endure in one, depressing documentary.

Response:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, agree/disagree (correctly portrays/ incorrectly portrays) because ___________ .
      • In Bully, by Lee Hirsch, correctly portrays that bullying is an epidemic that needs to be stopped, as well, it acknowledges the awful physical, mental, and emotional aggression and correctly portrays how horrible and deadly is/can be because several different victims of bullying were shown and followed.
  • Claim 1:
    • Set-up In smaller and schools, the bullying epidemic is fatal. Kids are bullied so badly that they have killed themselves because of how severe the abuse became.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (  I, iii, 233-236  ) Ty Field, age 11, made the decision to take his own life. The superintendent said, “There is no indication that bullying was a factor” (Hirsch), while Ty’s friends stated that it was the entire reason.
    • Explanation of quotation to prove claim Ty Field had dealt with bullying for a long time and most people could infer that Ty ended his life due to bullying, even though others said it was clearly the stress and torment of bullying.
  • Counterclaim 1: However, in the documentary, it was stated that bullying is everywhere all over the world and at one point, everyone has been bullied.
    • Set-up This statement is somewhat of an exaggeration. Bullying is not as common as it seems in many places. Although some places suffer from extremely severe bullying epidemics, other places have either very minor bullying or none at all.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” “Bible Belt Oklahoma,” has to endure locker signs saying “Faggots aren’t welcome here.” (http://entertainment.time.com/2012/03/29/bully-a-punishing-movie-your-kids-must-see/)
    • Explanation of quotation to prove counterclaim Kelby had to endure more than enough prejudice because she was gay. She1 faced things like being picked on by everybody, including teachers, constant harassment, and loneliness, but she1 admitted that it was because she1 was in the bible belt.
    • Rebuttal
    • Many people believe bullying exists only in small towns. This is likely because many small towns are affected by bullying and there is more attention towards small towns. However, it is a real problem in cities also. Many cities and well populated areas suffer from bullying as much as small towns.
  • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument?
  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Although there are some overstatements, Bully very accurately shows the harsh nature of the epidemic of bullying and abuse that modern children have to go through every day. Bullying should be stopped immediately .



Bully, by Lee Hirsch, demonstrates the harsh reality of what occurs in a bullied child’s life, like the constant and endless harassment, a loss of feelings, and even a choice to take one's life. In the documentary, 7 different victims of bullying were followed, all of them were bullied for different reasons at different degrees of severity. Two of the kids that were followed had taken their own lives due to bullying, and several others had tried, but didn’t succeed in taking theirs. One of the children had become used to the bullying, and eventually didn’t realize when they were and weren’t being bullied.

1 Kelby came out as transgender after the documentary was filmed and released, although he now is referred to by male pronouns, we are using female pronouns because he was referred to by female pronouns when the documentary was released.
REDO

1 comment:

  1. Make sure that your summary topic sentence is without a why and only states one main idea. Be more concise in your summary. Make sure to eliminate opinion in your summary such as "one, depressing documentary."

    Your response topic sentence is one giant run on sentence: In Bully, by Lee Hirsch, correctly portrays that bullying is an epidemic that needs to be stopped, as well, it acknowledges the awful physical, mental, and emotional aggression and correctly portrays how horrible and deadly is/can be because several different victims of bullying were shown and followed. " COndense to one main idea, position, and a why. Why are you showing two sides in your claim- use evidence to prove your claim not the opposing view point. Where is your lead in and set-up for your quote for your counterclaim? You need to spend a lot more time on your rebuttal flushing out the argument to more detail.

    Concluding sentence should be one sentence.

    REDO

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